Letters

So, I've been messing with the background of my blog, and if you haven't noticed, I have no clue about anything to do with HTML. I kind of like the map theme, so I guess I'll keep that for now.

Today is Saturday, and on most Saturdays, I like to clean. I enjoy it. Weird, I know. My mom sometimes tells me I might hate it someday when I'm constantly picking up after children. I guess we'll see.

I found a huge pile of mail that's been sitting in our living room for, oh, about two months. I sorted through it, and since I knew that most of it was junk, I tossed it. But at the bottom was a letter addressed to me, in my own hand-writing. I couldn't remember why I'd sent myself anything (but with my crazy mind, who knows?) So I tore it open and when I unfolded the letter I remembered. Five months ago I was at church camp and one night we were told to write a letter to ourselves about what God was doing in our lives that week. I feel like, even though this letter arrived at my apartment two months ago, I opened it at just the right time.

I'd like to share it with you:

"Dear Aubrie,

It is June 25th and you are already halfway through your internship at Casas. You have learned to try to seek inner beauty as God calls us to do in 1 Peter. God has spoken a lot to your heart regarding your future and on being patient; on laying burdens down and looking ahead; on treasuring life because as you saw at the nursing home yesterday, it passes quickly.

You have seen the same thing happening to students this week as happened to you five years ago in the Ozark mountains at Survive. God is doing some amazing things here in Mexico and at the camp, but one thing you've realized...you've been so dry. Seek God. He is our healing water. You'll probably be back at school when you get this. Keep going, even if you hate it. God will use it. Think of Mexico and think of all the orphans and children you can hopefully one day teach.

Don't forget about this camp and these kids. Pray for them. Pray for Mexico. Love yourself as God has made you. Love others. Be patient."

I can remember writing this letter without a ton of thought, because all week at camp I was thinking about how I was there to help those students and I wasn't there to let God change me too.

Well, something else I do on Saturday is tailgating. And watching K-State football. I am so thankful for my wonderful family. My parents still take care of me. I'm not sure when the day will come when I am fully taking care of myself...scary. And then tonight I am in charge of two sixteen year-olds, aka my sister and her best friend. It's gonna be a blast. Probably because I still think I'm sixteen sometimes.

Heaven

I think we all, no matter our beliefs, know that there is more than this world. We know that more exists. We know that deep down, we were meant for more than what we see before us.

September and October were a blur for me. Trying to process this summer and do homework at the same time just made the days blend together. I am coming out stronger. I still have days where my heart feels like it’s about to shatter….and, you know, I can’t put my finger on what exactly it is that makes me so sad. Is it the fact that I know that thousands of people will die today because they have no food or shelter while I sit in class? Is it that I miss the people I became so close with this summer? Is it because I see my friends’ lives beginning to go places and mine just seems to be on hold? Is it because I love my family and want to move home and spend time with them but at the same time I want to be in Juárez loving on those precious children?

I think it all comes down to one thing: we are not meant for this world. I don’t know if you’ve heard it, but I’ve been listening to “Heaven is the Face” by Steven Curtis Chapman over and over again. If you don’t know, his little girl was killed in an accident a couple years ago; this song is written about her and heaven. It’s a tear-jerker, but it’s beautiful.

I read through the comments on the video on YouTube and they are full of pain, yet hope at the same time. People who have lost children, parents, friends, and other family members. People clinging to God and people searching for God. People desperate to just be near Him.

I was talking to Kevin (another intern) the other night and I think that we both agree that this summer was so hard to come away from because we got a small glimpse of heaven in the sense that we had true community. I’ve never been around people who are so quick to call out all the junk in your life, but encourage you to change. I’ve never been around people who are willing to give up everything to chase after God and what He’s doing in this world. Life is so much more than we make it sometimes.

Last night at Challenge (my campus ministry), our speaker talked about how Jesus is the only thing that satisfies. Eternity is a long time…so if you’re reading this and you have no clue who Christ is, He wants to know you. Eternity is a LONG time. It’s forever. It doesn’t change. This world isn’t going to last. We get our short time here and then we leave. I want to see you there in heaven. I want to spend eternity with all of you. Anyone who’s reading this.

Paul said that it was his hearts desire to know Christ and to know his sufferings (Philippians 3) because it was worth it, because he gained eternal life through him. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get there. Seek Christ. Give up the things you put in front of Him, because it’s just not worth it. By giving up, gain everything.