Yesterday was an emotional day for me. I had planned a couple parties for my students and realized that I absolutely hate parties because there is no structure in them. I spent my planning hour wiping queso off desks and vacuuming the floor with my fingers.
I had heard about the shooting because my homepage is set to MSN news...but the news was really confusing and badly written, so I had no idea what happened. The only info the article offered was that there was one injury: a teacher had been shot in the foot.
Then I checked back at lunch: 27 dead. Twenty innocent babies and 7 adults. And my heart broke. I know many of us are feeling this way, and I couldn't put my finger on why it hit me so hard. Then I realized something: if we as Christians truly possess the spirit of God, we must feel it when his heart breaks.
Guys, we have been breaking God's heart for centuries. One of the Bible verses that almost puts me in tears is Genesis 6:6. "And the Lord was sorry that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart." (ESV) The New Living Translation says: "It broke his heart."
I think yesterday many of us felt God's grieving heart. Grieving of course for the adults lost, but also grieving the murder of 20 precious babies. They are his little masterpieces, my friends, and He created them with a purpose. And because of sin and evil, they are gone.
I can't tell you what I would think if a gunman burst into my classroom and opened fire, but I would probably be like a Mama Bear with my students. I know I wouldn't be much good, me against a gun, but I would hope that I'd stand up for them, and not because I want to be a hero. I don't have my own kids yet, and even though my students drive me nuts somedays, they are mine and I love them. Something has to be done. A friend of mine posted on Facebook that if it comes down to it, schools need to hire their own gunmen to stand at the front and protect our children. This requires money we don't have, but at some point the talking has to stop and something has to be done.
But the thing is, people keep asking when the violence will stop, and the sad part is, no matter how many laws we make or how hard we try, I don't think it will.
You see, the world may not end December 21st, but it will end some day. And as I saw Mark Driscoll post on Twitter yesterday, we will not have peace until the Prince of Peace himself returns to destroy evil and sets things right. I can't wait for that day. I say that not because I don't enjoy life here. I love my husband and my family and friends and my job. But we were made for heaven.
When I was two, my sister Ashley died at 3 months of SIDS, and we all wish she was still here to enjoy life with us. Amanda would be happy that I had two people to steal clothes from instead of just her, because I get the feeling that Ashley would be stylish like Amanda. :) Anyways, on her headstone it says, "The crown without the conflict." I totally believe that Jesus welcomed my sister into His kingdom 22 years ago and that I will see her again someday. Seeing her again will be such a gift, and I can't wait. This is the joy in our Savior! We will spend all eternity together worshipping him.
Through the tragedy and the tears, 20 babies received their crowns in God's kingdom yesterday, crowns without the conflict of life. Even though it tears our hearts out, we know they are being held and comforted by the Father himself.
My heart breaks for these families to go through this Christmas and the rest of life without their babies home in their arms. Our hope is this: Jesus is coming again to save us from evil. And I could cry just thinking about it. I am ready, and until then, I will live my life intentionally.
"He who testifies to these things says, 'Surely I am coming soon.' Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!" - Rev. 22:20