Well, usually I like my posts to be something significant, but...I don't really have much to say tonight. Other than the fact that God is so good and I can't wait to go to Challenge (our campus ministry) here in about half an hour. I always learn something new there.
I've been struggling lately, mainly with two things:
- the fact that I want to be in Mexico so badly this summer, even though I said I'm not going back. ugh. I seriously can't stop thinking about it. It's been almost six months since I've been back and here I am blabbing on about how I can't forget about it. You wouldn't forget either if you'd been. And if you have been, then you know what I'm talking about.
- self image. SERIOUSLY, what is the deal with this? I was on the treadmill today, another girl was on the bike, and another on the elliptical (I can't stand that machine...I also can't understand how people read while on that machine. That's pukey-ness waiting to happen.) And I wonder what we're all working for. Then I remember - that body that doesn't exist that we see on the front of magazines.
But honestly, I look in the mirror lately and tear myself down. "Hey, face...yeah, um, I'm 22 now. It's time to stop with the acne thing."
I recently saw my dermatologist about possibly starting a drug called Accutane, but she wouldn't prescribe it to me because I run. Well, she would prescribe it, but I'd have to not run for at least six months. And then not run for however long it takes the medicine to get out of your system. It dries up the juice between your joints. They give you this book when you go in there that warns you against everything that could potentially happen to you if you take the drug:
dryness of the skin, discomfort with contacts, joint pain, back pain, dizziness, drowsiness, nervousness, dryness of the lips, mouth, nose, and skin, cracking or peeling of skin, itching, rashes, or changes in finger nails. In extreme cases, it has also been known to cause severe birth defects or even fetal death, depressed moods, trouble concentrating, insomnia, agitation, change in behavior, hallucinations, thoughts of suicide, sudden numbness or weakness on one side of the body, blurred vision, sudden or severe headaches, vomiting, hearing problems, seizures, severe pain in upper stomach, fast heart rate, loss of appetite, dark urine, clay colored stools, jaundice, severe diarrhea, rectal bleeding, black, bloody, or tarry stools, fever, chills, body aches, flu symptoms, purple spots under the skin, easy bruising or bleeding, or bone fracture.
Awesome. Sounds like fun. Now, many people have taken this and never had a pimple again; however, many have severe problems after taking it. Gosh. Call me paranoid, but just not worth it for me I guess.
And now I'm off to Challenge. That's my rant for tonight. On a side note I think soon I'm going to do half my face in makeup and then take a picture to see the difference.